California’s failed recall of Governor Gavin Newsom took place last week, culminating in Governor Newsom beating the recall with over 62% of Californians in support of Newsom remaining in office. Of his win, Governor Newsom said, “We rejected cynicism and bigotry and chose hope and progress.”
With a lot of hard work, we were able to maintain California’s progress and reject hateful ideology ... until the next gubernatorial election. Candidates have already started announcing their candidacies, so get ready for more! Fortunately, this failed recall election will probably only cost California taxpayers about $300 million! A huge congratulations are in order for the recall organizers, specifically, for burning so much cash in a record amount of time. We definitely didn’t need it for anything.
Before conservatives’ favorite candidate, Larry Elder, officially lost the recall, former President and incredibly stable genius, Donald J. Trump, began to spread some election-fraud flavored rumors about California’s recall process. Citing absolutely zero evidence, the former president claimed, “It’s probably rigged,” on the ever-reputable Newsmax channel. Similar conspiracies were pushed by Tomi Lahren, a popular conservative commentator and gremlin, who said, “The only thing that will save Gavin Newsom is voter fraud.”
Interestingly, before election day even happened, Larry Elder’s camp was already claiming election fraud. Elder had directed his followers to a website called “Fight California Election Fraud,” which made unfounded claims about election fraud and was “Paid For By Larry Elder Ballot Measure Committee Recall Newsom Committee.” The campaign site was rapidly changed the next day, but this was enough to fully ignite the newest election fraud conspiracy.
The reality of the situation is entirely less sinister, and we can certainly expect to see this conspiracy pop up again the next time a conservative loses a major election.
The election wasn’t “rigged,” and there was no “fraud,” people just don’t like you. Shockingly, a “$0.00 minimum wage,” did not go over well with California voters. I am very sorry that you lost, but a lot of other people lost, too, and none of the other losers are complaining about election fraud. Sometimes, in life, you just need to accept the L. You’ll live to see another W. So, for the sake of your dignity and the integrity of our elections processes, take the L and don’t claim fraud when it’s not there. I can’t handle the second-hand embarrassment.
On a positive note, Side Eye is here to stay! In a historic and unanimous vote, California triumphantly decided that I get to keep writing my little blogs. Stay tuned for more and share with a friend!
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CNC Side Eye is strictly satirical. Satire is the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. Any coincidental use of names is not intentional.