Ah, summer… The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, love is in the air, and—oh no! It looks like COVID-19 is still in the air, and especially present in poorly ventilated indoor spaces! Just because this pandemic has forcibly changed the ways we can safely socialize and interact doesn’t mean the heart stops yearning. In fact, after a year indoors, the heart may yearn more than ever before. Despite the especially contagious Delta strain that is currently circulating through California, love doesn’t stop. The CDC has just updated its guidelines to inform you of the best ways to stay safe, and I’m here to share the best ways to apply these guidelines to your love life. Dodge the delta strain, but not Cupid’s arrows with these spicy safety tips!
Yes! The safest and most romantic way to date successfully during the pandemic is to be vaccinated! While there are other safety precautions that should still be followed, the best way to protect yourself and your potential future spouse against the Delta variant is to get immunized against COVID-19. While studies are still underway, it has been shown that vaccinated people are actually 200 percent more likely to get a second date!
Always wear your face mask indoors!
There’s been a lot of talk about when vaccinated people should wear masks, but the CDC has stepped in and recommends that you wear your mask indoors, especially in areas of high transmission. That’s right - keep wearing your mask indoors! Please. It’ll give you the extra protection you need and you’ll only need to wear eye-makeup. Bonus: when you wear a mask indoors, potential partners will see you as responsible and protective and will associate these ideal partner traits with you.
Gaze into each other's eyes ...
Since you’re a responsible individual who wears their mask indoors, all the focus will be on your eyes. Impress your date by mastering your smize and gazing lovingly into their eyes. Don’t forget to blink so you don’t scare your date!
Keep it virtual.
Zoom! Animal Crossing! Words With Friends! There are so many ways to have fun and get to know someone virtually, you really don’t need to risk an in-person meeting until you can trust that your date is COVID-19 safe. This won’t make you any more interesting, unfortunately, so be sure to have your talking points prepared ahead of time since pleasant conversation is all you’ve got.
Safe, socially distant dates!
You might need to get creative, but there are plenty of fun and safe date ideas to try! You can: get vaccinated together, get drinks at an outdoor patio, talk about the safety and efficacy of the COVID-19 vaccine, have a picnic, craft personal letters inviting all your friends to get vaccinated … There are just too many options to pick from!
Wear a mask!
I already said this, but I really want to drive the point home. Wear a mask indoors, please. You’ll appear mysterious to your date and you will be so happy when you don’t contract COVID-19!
Immediately sign a lease with your date and hope it works out.
After the prolonged loneliness of the pandemic, you may have a desire to save on rent and settle down with the first viable option rather quickly. A cool date idea is to sign a lease immediately with your Tinder date and hope it all works out. If you’re quarantined together, you won’t need to wear masks at home!
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CNC Side Eye is strictly satirical. Satire is the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. Any coincidental use of names is not intentional.