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The Future of California: Recall Weather Forecast

The future is bright and sunny! Well, it should be. California is known for its great weather, but depending on how this recall election goes … sunny skies could certainly change! I’m not even talking strictly metaphorically – if a climate change denier gets elected Governor, I can’t say exactly what that will do to our planet. I only know it would be very bad. To help demonstrate what’s at stake in this recall election, I’ve assigned a weather forecast to each post-recall version of the future. Makes sense? Look at the forecast for California’s future below to see exactly how your vote will impact the future of California!

75º and sunny: perfect California weather!

The future is bright and sunny should Californians vote, “NO,” on the recall. A future under Governor Gavin Newsom’s leadership guarantees even more progress in the areas he’s already created so much positive change in. Things like: safely navigating Californians through a once-in-a-lifetime pandemic, getting clean drinking water to all Californians, extending resources and healthcare undocumented individuals, directing a historic amount of resources toward combatting homelessness, and creating more representation by appointing Black and Latino Californians to major leadership roles. Sounds like a bright future to me!

Hot, humid, and gross ...

Humidity combined with excessive heat really is the worst. It can feel suffocating, like you can never fully escape the heat to get comfortable. Coincidentally, this is exactly how you’ll feel if the recall passes and you get stuck with a conservative Governor. It would hypothetically feel hot, gross, and suffocating because we would've lost all of the great progress Governor Newsom created! The leading recall candidate even has a track record of making disparaging remarks against women. Could you really live every day under the suffocating sheath of misogyny? I don’t think so! Vote “NO,” on the recall!

Wildfires and smoke-filled skies:

What’s worse than extreme heat? All the fires it can cause! As Californians, we’re unfortunately no strangers to a summer grass fire. Or, like, several. Whether these fires are started by gender reveal parties or not is irrelevant – the only thing that matters is that, as a result of climate change, each California summer is getting drier and hotter than the one before it. This creates even more opportunities for even bigger fires. The leading recall candidate is “unsure,” if climate change contributes to California’s wildfires, despite broad research supporting this, and a majority of Californians worried about climate change. If a conservative who denies that climate change exists and supports rolling back environmental protections gets elected as Governor, then learn to enjoy smoke-filled skies ... because that’s definitely what you’ll get a lot more of!

Clouds and fog:

It's a crisp, cool morning, and your neighborhood is cloaked in a thick fog. This is fun at first until you realize you can’t even see past your driveway and you have no idea what’s coming down the road. What was at first different and exciting is actually quite scary and unpredictable. It’s not fun not knowing what's coming next! If Gavin Newsom gets recalled, get used to unpredictability and not being able to clearly see your future. A recall election threatens to halt all progress Governor Newsom has made investing in Californians and our future. Recall opponents don’t even believe in a minimum wage! A future without Gavin Newsom is foggy and unclear … but if you vote “NO,” on the recall, you know you are saying “yes!” to progress!

Storms, rain, and wind:

California is known for its sunny skies and warm days, but it is an incredibly diverse state with all kinds of weather that can go down! It can get rainy, cold, and windy, even if you don’t see all that in the movies. It's best to not be left out in the cold, even on the occasional rainy day, which is why you need to vote “NO,” on the recall. Conservatives are wasting over $276 million on this recall to try and unseat Gavin Newsom, all to simply be in power. $276 million in the middle of a pandemic! Conservatives have already chosen to leave Californians out in the rain and cold during a pandemic by having this recall at all, so if you vote for them, that’s exactly what you can expect to get. Don’t let your family be tossed aside – vote “NO,” on the recall!

Remember: fill out the "NO," bubble on your ballot, sign in, seal it, and mail it back! It's that easy!

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CNC Side Eye is strictly satirical. Satire is the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. Any coincidental use of names is not intentional.